It's a dog's life? I think not!

 Lorna Barrett and her fictional cat Miss Marple...

Miss Marple Feline Detective

Why is it that humans can’t leave well enough alone? We could all live long and happy lives if they’d act more like cats.

Hello, my name is Miss Marple, and I dominate a woman named Tricia Miles. She has provided me with everything a cat needs. A lovely home, a purpose and a place to work everyday, and sees to all my worldly needs: food, toys, catnip.

But recently when she goes out, she often comes homes smelling of DOG. One dog in particular. An incredibly self-satisfied bichon frise named (of all things) Sarge. Perhaps he is aptly named, though, as he tends to come charging into a room barking orders like a drill sergeant.

Sarge

This DOG keeps arriving in our store, usually in a big pink purse being carried by Tricia’s sister. She’s okay, I suppose. She no longer calls me “that cat” or “that animal,” and she now pets me and has even kissed me once or twice. I will allow this. But that DOG, never! At least Tricia doesn’t let her bring that DOG into our home.

Just recently that DOG got Tricia into a lot of trouble. Not once, not twice, but three times! It started in April when she was about to abandon me for an overnight stay at a lovely local inn called Sheer Comfort. That DOG had to go and do his, er, business, and Tricia was forced to be his enabler. And what did that DOG find while sniffing around the inn’s backyard? A body! That got Tricia into all kinds of trouble with all kinds of people. Especially when Tricia had plenty to do around the shop, including hiring a replacement for our beloved Ginny, who always fed me kitty treats when Tricia’s back was turned. I hope Tricia can find someone new who will give me even more cat cookies. I think she’s close to hiring someone who is owned by two cats! We’ll see.

In the meantime, I must keep watch from my perch behind the register. Up there I’m safe from that DOG. I hope you’ll come and visit Tricia and me in the latest Booktown Mystery, MURDER ON THE HALF SHELF.

See you there!

Miss Marple

Originally published at The Conscious Cat

Lorna Barrett also writes the new York Times bestselling Victoria Square Mysteries under the name Lorraine Bartlett and the Jeff Resnick Mysteries under the name L.L. Bartlett.